Oh man.I am at my wits end. I have no idea how to deal with my "willful" son.
Here's an example of today's escapade.
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Eli woke from his nap in an obvious sour mood.
I saw this and tried to intercede with hugs and cuddles. Not exactly what he wanted. After a while I asked him to help clean up the toys he left in the living room.
{Hes 3 he can clean up after himself right?}
Tantrum #1... He whined and cried and stomped and told me that I should just do it. Not cute.
So he finally cleaned up the toys
{After threatening to throw them away}
As I continued to clean the house he just followed me whining and being obnoxious
So I gave him a snack and told him to play in his room while I cleaned.
Well I didn't get much cleaning done because he screamed and yelled and came out of his room every 30 seconds saying, "I dont want to!! This is bad!! I cant deal with this"
{the last one was funny the 1st time not so much the 20th}
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At the 1/2 hour mark I thought to myself...
Am I taking this too far? I just want him to behave, to do as I say.
Its just exhausting. I dont want my son to be defiant and rude.
So he stayed in there until he could sit quietly and play with his toys.
That took an HOUR AND A HALF.
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Am I wrong? How do I deal with my stubborn but sweet boy?
2 comments:
I've got one of those myself. no one tells you about the terrible 3's. I found myself constantly telling Jack no, stop that, clean up, stop whining, etc and I was tired of hearing myself be so negative. so i've started a behavior chain. if he does something right he is rewarded with a paper link to add to the chain. if he throws a tantrum or doesn't do as I ask, a link is tanken off. after he has made the entire chain, he is rewarded (a new toy, date with mom or dad to the movies, golf, bowling, etc). after doing this for a week it finally clicked this morning-he cleaned up all his toys before pre-school without me telling him.
good luck.
My sister just started a new system that she is loving. She made 7 square pieces of paper and taped them one on top of the other with a star on the top. At the very bottom was time out for 15 min and no reading time at night (her kids love to read). Next up was time out for 5 min. Next was warning. In the middle was "Go" where everyone starts off that day. One step up was High fives and hugs. Next was 10 min on iPhone (she's got games and stuff they like to play). Next was 15 extra min of reading time with Mom or Dad that night (so they get to stay up past their bed time with Mom or Dad reading stories to them). At the very top is a gold star. If they get that they get something extra special (treat or toy or whatnot). Every day they start in the middle and if they do something bad she tells them to drop their clip (she let them paint their own clothes pin). If good, up a square with their clip. She says it takes all the emotion out of it for her and it's really been working. You can obviously change rewards/punishments according to the child. Hope that helps and good luck!
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